22 Seasons...4 Attempts...ONE Perfect Game

For those of you who may be wondering whether I've had a recent case of Writer's Block, have no fear.  I suffer from no such ailment...what it boils down to is a pure lack of inspiration.  I refuse to write simply for the sake of writing.  It cannot be forced.  I want to be WOWed.  I want things to happen that make me feel as if I would be doing you fine readers a disservice if I didn't write about them.  Not that there hasn't been anything exciting going on in the sporting world over the past few weeks:

• The NFL Draft was captivating as always...at least that's what I'm told.  We naturally picked the perfect time to take an extended weekend getaway to a remote lake house in Jasper, Alabama, the ultimate Draft weekend!  Or so I thought.  Luckily we were spared by the tornadoes that made their way through the surrounding areas that weekend, but we did lose our television viewing capabilities for the duration of the NFL's Annual Player Selection Meeting.  Special shout-outs to friends, family, Sirius Satellite Radio, and most of all Natural Light for turning what could have been a disaster into what was still an absolute blast of a weekend.
• The NBA and NHL Playoffs have both rated 'Above Average' on the Entertainment Value Scale, but nothing special enough to warrant an article in The Breaux Report...not yet at least.  Props to the Nashville Predators for making their first trip to the Western Conference Semis: it's pretty awesome to finally live in an NHL city.
• If Animal Kingdom can win the Preakness Stakes this Saturday, I might be compelled to write what I'm sure would be an original "Will We Finally See Our First Triple Crown Winner in 33 Years?" article.  I mean COME ON, can this happen at least ONCE in my lifetime?!
• THE PLAYERS CHAMPIONSHIP was fantastic this past weekend.  Congrats to K.J. Choi for scoring the biggest victory of his career so far by defeating David Toms in a sudden death playoff.  And congrats to David Toms for getting me to openly root for an athlete who attended LSU...doesn't happen often!

But something else happened yesterday that gave me the inspiration to write again, a textbook WOW moment that technically doesn't have any place in a sports blog.  But dammit, if something like NASCAR can be considered a sport, then so can the greatest reality competition program of all time!  For those of you out there who do not watch "Survivor", you can stop reading right now...nothing I will say for the remainder of this article will make any sense or have any impact on you.  And for those of you that are fortunate enough to watch "Survivor" but have yet to watch last night's Season 22 Finale, you can also stop reading right now...because I'm about to give it all away!

I would now like to send out this article's most special shout-out to my main man Kev, who a little over six years ago talked me into watching the premiere of Survivor: Palau, the series' 10th season.  Since then I have watched every episode of the series, including going back and watching the first nine seasons.  To explain the concept of the show would be a waste of both my and your time.  If you watch the show, then you totally get it.  "Survivor" is as equally compelling now as it was when it debuted 11 years ago.  

The only thing that bothered me about "Survivor" through the years was that my favorite contestant and also the game's greatest competitor, 'Boston' Rob Mariano, had never actually won the million dollar prize and the title of "Sole Survivor."  After last year's "Heroes vs. Villains" season, it seemed that Rob's quest to win "his" title was officially over, coming away empty-handed again in his third attempt.  But then, thanks in part to Rob's popularity and his famous feud with Russell on the 'Villains' tribe, both Rob and Russell were invited to join 16 other castaways on this Spring's "Redemption Island" season.  It appeared that CBS was grasping for ratings.  As if someone with Rob's reputation had any chance of going far with a new group of completely unknown players.  He would naturally be an early target and a most likely early exit...at least that's the way it should have played out.  It did play out that way for Russell: the self proclaimed "greatest player in Survivor history" lasted a total of eight days, even sobbing like a little girl after failing to make it to the final vote for the first time in his three attempts at the game.  Meanwhile, Rob somehow managed to form alliances, his team won challenges, he found the hidden immunity idol, he had the numbers at the merge, he backstabbed, he blindsided, he got everyone in his alliance to believe that he was taking them to the end, he had to get rid of two people twice because of the 'redemption island' twist, he won the final immunity challenge in what was most certainly a "win or go home" scenario for him, all nine people on the jury were sent there when he decided it was their time to go............................................................and all but one of them voted for him in the end.  BOSTON ROB F*CKING DID IT!!!  

During the live reunion, Jeff Probst called it the closest thing to a perfect game he has ever seen in 22 seasons of hosting the show.

There was certainly an extra hop in my step at work today, and my smile was bigger than it should ever be on a Monday.  I didn't want to live in a world where Boston Rob was "the greatest player to never win."  Luckily none of us will be living in that world anymore.

To Kevin, thanks for that day in February 2005 when you talked me into what I was sure at the time would be a waste of 45 minutes in front of the TV, love ya man.  And to Boston Rob, congratulations, it has been an absolute joy watching you over the years...you deserve it.

More to Come...

Apologies for the recent lack of content, will try to post something on the NFL Draft later in the week, however no guarantees since we will be at a lakehouse in the middle of nowhere Alabama so not sure I will have WiFi.

The Stage is Set

36 down...36 to go.  Moving Day is upon us.  Perfect weather conditions for the first two rounds at Augusta National have led to low scores and high entertainment so far at the 2011 Masters.  History has shown us that the eventual Masters champion will at least be in the top 10 at the halfway point, so let's focus on that group as we highlight the most intriguing storylines of the tournament so far.

The leader at the halfway point is 21-year-old Rory McIlroy at 10-under par.  Having already experienced the most pressure-packed situation he will ever be in (playing on the European Ryder Cup team last summer in his native Ireland, and performing brilliantly), and also having finished 3rd at the previous two majors, don't expect McIlroy to fall off the leaderboard.  A victory would make him the second youngest champion ever (Tiger Woods was a few months younger when he won at age 21 in 1997) as well as the first European to win since 1999 (Spain's Jose Maria Olazabal).

23-year old Jason Day from Australia is sitting at 8-under par and will be paired with McIlroy for today's third round.  Day has one career PGA Tour victory (2010 HP Byron Nelson Classic), and this is his first appearance at the Masters.  He tied for 10th at last year's PGA Championship at Whistling Straits.  Day is looking to become the first Australian to win the Masters (Greg Norman will now light himself on fire).

Speaking of Australians, 2006 U.S. Open Champion Geoff Ogilvy is the only golfer besides McIlroy to post two rounds in the 60s.  Don't be surprised if we see him in Butler Cabin tomorrow evening.

K.J. Choi and Y.E. Yang, both from South Korea, are each trying to become the first Asian to win the Masters.  If one of these guys actually breaks through to make their continent proud, I hope it's Choi (mainly because I'm still pissed at Yang for breaking Tiger's "undefeated when leading or tied for the lead entering the final round of a major" streak at the 2009 PGA Championship).  Random inquiry:  if I were ever to move to South Korea, would I be legally required to change my name to P.A. Breaux?

And how much of a bad-ass is Fred Couples?  The 1992 Masters Champion, now 51-years-young, shot a 68 on Friday and is right in the thick of it at 5-under par.  If he's still in contention tomorrow afternoon, he will be the overwhelming crowd favorite.  A victory would make Couples not only the oldest Masters champion, but also the oldest major champion ever.

(Hmmm...let's see...any other major headlines from the first 2 rounds?...)

OH YEAH!  Late Friday afternoon, the most recognizable golfer on the planet, the most dominating athlete of my generation, turned back the clock by playing the most impressive 11-hole stretch of golf we have seen from anyone in quite some time.  Tiger Woods went from being in danger of missing the cut to sitting in a tie for 3rd at 7-under par within the span of about two hours.  Absolutely brilliant.  Now, does Woods' recent history lead me to believe he can keep this up and win his 5th Green Jacket this weekend?  Honestly, no...but good God I hope he proves me wrong.  Let's put this in a historical perspective:

The most amazing individual record in all of sports is Jack Nicklaus' 18 Major Championships.  Tiger currently has 14 Majors, and has many times stated that his singular career goal is to eclipse Nicklaus' mark.  If we had a Mount Rushmore of "Transcendant Athletes of the Past 100 Years" the faces would be those of Babe Ruth, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods.  I obviously didn't have the pleasure of seeing either Ruth or Ali, but damn, if Doc Emmett Brown would build me a DeLorean these would definitely be 2 of the top 5 events I would travel back in time to see:
1.  1932 World Series -- Babe Ruth famously "calls his shot" at Wrigley Field against the Cubs
2.  The Rumble in the Jungle -- Muhammad Ali stuns the heavily favored George Foreman in front of a raucous crowd in Kinshasa, Zaire to regain the Heavyweight Title

I feel extremely fortunate to have witnessed Jordan's entire NBA career, and am convinced I will never see anyone as exciting as him in team sports.

Which brings us back to Tiger Woods.  I hope you all realize the rarity of what we have witnessed from him over the past 15 years, as well as the magnitude of the situation each time he is in contention at a Major.  I hope he can give us another one of "those moments" tomorrow afternoon on the back nine at Augusta.  As Andy Dufresne said, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things.  And no good thing ever dies."

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS

Great Stuff -- also for anyone who might not have gotten all of my "sights and sounds" references from the previous post.

A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Anyone out there remember their 8th birthday?  Some of you might, but I guarantee it's not for the same reason I remember mine.

April 12, 1987...I can't recall a single present I received that day.  Couldn't tell you what design or picture was on my birthday cake.  Did I have a party with friends from school?  Perhaps we played games in the backyard?  I'm sure if we dug deep into my Mom's VHS collection or photo albums we could find the answers to these questions...but whatever.  The one thing I can recall in vivid detail about that day is watching the final round of the 1987 Masters.

There are a select few objects in the world of sports that symbolize greatness:  The World Cup, The Lombardi Trophy, The Stanley Cup, an Olympic Gold Medal, The Green Jacket...
Ah, The Green Jacket - the prize awarded to the Masters champion.  The Masters - the only one of golf's four major tournaments to be played on the same course every year, a golf course located in Augusta, Georgia and designed by the legendary Bobby Jones.  A golfing utopia for which there is no visual equal.  Any golfer who says his career is complete without having won a Green Jacket is just spouting B.S.  It would be like Dan Marino saying his career was complete having never won a Super Bowl.

Twenty-four years later I can still remember how excited I was sitting in front of the TV that day.  One of my childhood idols, Greg Norman, was closing in on his first Masters victory.  After coming in second and losing by a single stroke to a 46-year-old Jack Nicklaus in 1986, this would finally be Norman's year.  Battling in a sudden death playoff with Augusta native Larry Mize, Norman hit his approach shot to the treacherous par-4 11th hole safely on the green.  Mize's approach had missed badly to the right, 140 feet from the pin.  For Mize to get up and down to save par would be nearly impossible.  Then the unthinkable happened...Mize hit what is still regarded as one of the most miraculous shots in golfing history, a delicate bump and run that somehow wound up with the ball in the bottom of the cup.  Norman missed his lengthy birdie putt, and just like that, Larry Mize was the Masters champion, and the proud owner of one Green Jacket.  For me, utter devastation, and a birthday completely ruined.
Norman would have other chances at Augusta, most notably in 1996, when he entered Sunday with a seemingly insurmountable 6-stroke lead, only to shoot a final round 78 and lose to Nick Faldo.  Greg Norman is still one of the world's most recognizable athletes, having won countless tournaments globally.  He has his own clothing line and his own wine label, both bearing his unmistakable "shark" logo.  But he never won the tournament he wanted to win more than any other...AND IT BOTHERS ME TO THIS DAY!

(let's all take a little break to dry our eyes...)

Ok, so after that story, I know what you all must be thinking: "Paul, that's really depressing, why the hell do you love the Masters so much?!"  Well, aside from Norman's multiple heartbreaking near-misses, think of all the indelible sights and sounds the Masters has provided us with throughout the years...Jack Nicklaus' out-of-nowhere final round 65 in 1986 to win his 6th Green Jacket at age 46 (cue Jim Nantz at #16: "The Bear has come out of hibernation!", cue Verne Lundquist at #17: "Yes SIR!"), Tiger Woods shooting a tournament record 18-under par and winning by a record 12-stroke margin in 1997 at the age of 21 (cue Jim Nantz at #18: "A win for the ages!"), Woods completing the final leg of his Tiger Slam in 2001 (cue Nantz again at #18: "As grand as it gets!"), Phil Mickelson breaking through to win his first major at the 2004 Masters by birdieing 5 of his last 7 holes, the fifth of those coming on the final hole to win by a single stroke (cue Nantz again at #18: "Is it his time?...YES!"), Tiger's ridiculous final round chip-in at #16 in 2005 that has doubled as a free Nike ad ever since (cue Verne Lundquist: "here it comes...oh my goodNESS...OH MY!...IN YOUR LIFE HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT?!"), and Mickelson just last year, physically and mentally exhausted from helping his wife through cancer treatment, winning his only tournament of the year and his 3rd Green Jacket (Nantz again at #18: "That one's for the family!").  We're just hours away.  What memories will be created this year?

My childhood hero will never win a Green Jacket, so why do I love the Masters so much?  What a ridiculous question.  Did I scoff at the Super Bowl the first thirty years of my life just because the Saints were never in it?  Of course not, some things just aren't meant to be, with both Norman and the Saints, the elusiveness becomes the reason for the obsession.  Uh-oh...probably not the best way to close out a golf column...but I just can't help myself...I'm hearing a familiar voice...it's the end of Super Bowl XLIV..."The Saints are GONNA DO IT!"...ah yes, Jim Nantz again.

Cheers!

We live in a world where so many people lie awake in bed at night thinking, "Damn, if only I knew Paul's thoughts on (insert sporting event here)."  Well, I have finally reached my breaking point...I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  There are too many fine folks out there deserving of a peaceful sleep.  Your collective first Genie wish has come true...an uncensored glimpse into what everyone SHOULD be caring about in the world of sports.  Coming soon: my thoughts on the first leg of golf's Grand Slam - The Masters.